I Love You, Mommy
by Maidenhair
Summary: Madeline adopts another child, but hopes that her own son will come back. However, her new daughter has other plans.
1. Chapter 1

**I Love You Mommy**

Disclaimer: Nothing that is not my own will I take, POTO I did not make... (This is not a rap.)

Author's notice: This is not really a "Kay" fic (I don't even really like that book). Pretty much the only Kay I will be using is Erik's mother's name and maybe a few randomized comments. The rest is Leroux based or just imagined by myself. Once this is understood, I believe that the only other confusion will be the plot line. Thank you and have a _wonderful_ day.

Madeline slid the flowers into a vase. Then she gently made the little bed she had prepared beneath the open window. She lay another package on the pile that she had made at the end of the cot. None of the presents were opened, nor would be by the looks of things. She brushed a few tears from her eyes.

_Today would have been Erik's thirteenth birthday._ She thought.

Every year she bought birthday and Christmas gifts for him. Every day she laid a plate of food by the open window and smoothed the little bed. Always, she left the window open for him, even in the coldest of winters. But he never came. He would never come.

How many times had she searched for him? Too many to count by this time. The police refused to help her any more. She had to face the inevitable truth; Erik must be dead. Why else could she not find him?

She cursed herself. It was her fault that her son was gone. She had been cruel to him. She had hated and feared him and mistreated him. She blamed him for her loss in society, the friends who had left her, and the husband who had abandoned her. She thought of him as a monster, a freakish devil -until the last night, the last night that she had a son.

That night she had made her conversion, in a sense. She had repented of her previous actions against her child and wished right her wrongs. In one exhilarating moment she had rushed from the house and purchased several gifts that she was sure her preternaturally talented son would enjoy. All that night she had waited in a tense excitement for Erik to awake. She had been tempted to waken him several times, but she decided to allow him to sleep. It was the act of motherly charity that was her downfall. As she lightly dozed, Erik had left. A small, scrawled note, apologizing for some imagined sin, was all that he left behind him. She had not seen him since.

Every day she relived that night. In her dreams she had awakened Erik. On her knees she begged his forgiveness and promised that she would never again do him harm. He would embrace her and the two would cry away the past misdeeds. If only life were so kind.

Madeline stroked the shabby pillow on the cot, longing to feel the touch of her son's raven hair. It was a fitting punishment, she thought, to suffer such loss after what she had done to him. The irony of it all was unbearable. For so long she had wished Erik dead and out of her life forever. Now that he most assuredly was dead, the pain was beyond belief. It was a paradox.

If only she had another child. If only there were someone to whom she could show love. She wanted a second chance. She wanted a chance to prove that she was not heartless, to give love to another, to be the mother she longed to be.

_That is it!_ She thought. _That is what I must do! I need another child. Maybe God will forgive me if I can show love to another little one. _

She resolved to adopt a child. There were many poor, miserable orphans who would love a home and a family. She would not adopt a son, just in the case that Erik _should_ come back and think himself replaced. Then, what about a daughter? Surely Erik would not be jealous of a sister! The more she thought the more she was decided. Her heart longed for this little girl. She could almost picture what she would look like and the sorts of dresses and dolls she should buy for her. Perhaps this little girl had never even had a doll! Madeline planed and planed what she would do for the child. For the first time since Erik had ran away from home, she felt almost happy.

After a few weeks contemplation, Madeline visited one of the crowded shoddies that served as the homes for the orphaned children. The poor, half starved, beaten wretches all looked at her with pleading in their big, sad eyes. She felt heartbroken that she could not take all of them with her, but she was here for just one.

She looked at all the little girls, trying her best to ignore the boys, they only reminded her of Erik. She glanced though all of the hopeful faces. A little, blond girl sucked her thumb. A skinny girl held a shabby doll against her cheek. She almost decided to adopt a little, plump girl whose red-gold curls caught her eye. That little girl was by far the prettiest of the group. But no, Madeline had made enough mistakes by judging people by looks. She decided that she would simply ask the owner of the orphanage who was the most unlikely girl to be adopted and then adopt her.

She approached the matron, "Madame, which, may I ask, of the girls do you think will be the least likely to be adopted?"

The matron, a fat, vulgar woman who obviously detested children, replied in a husky snort, "Well, that would be our little Sabine. See, that filthy little skin-and-bones over in the corner."

Madeline looked to the place where the matron had indicated. There sat a very skinny, shabby girl of around seven to nine years. Her face was wan and pale, and dark, scarlet and purple rings shrouded her deep-set eyes. Her long, scraggly hair twisted and wreathed in lengthy, snaky coils of chestnut brown. She truly was skin and bones and her face was pale as a dead girl's. Madeline's first instinct was to shake her head and choose the pretty, girl with the red-gold curls. However, she refused to the let prejudices deter her. She forced herself not to see the sorry, corpse-like banshee, but rather a poor, pitiful child.

"Good," she said, "I would like to adopt that one."

The matron looked puzzled but simply shrugged. "Sure'n glad to be rid of her, creepy li'l mite. But, Madame, you will have to sign a paper saying you won't bring her back."

"Bring her back? I'm looking for a daughter, not a pet!" Madeline retorted indignantly.

"Aye, that's what others have said. Pitied the filthy maggot, I suppose. Always brought her back within three weeks, though."

"Why ever?" Madeline asked, dumbfounded.

"Search me," the matron replied, "Can't be because they thought her ugly, could 'ave seen that here. No, they all said something about their health and some nonsense about..." the matron looked worried, "They claim the girl's bad luck. Possessed or something, they say. Says she does things not but a little witch could do. Now, mind you she's never tried naught here and I'm not trying to keep you from taking her. I've got enough greedy mouths to feed here as it is! But..." the matron lowered her voice, "don't say I didn't warn you."

"Thank you, but I've seen too much in the ways of children to be frightened," Madeline stated, thinking bitterly of Erik's mischievous exploits in the world of magic.

"Well, suit yourself," the matron said grimly, "Sign here."

Madeline could not help but notice the lack of technicalities in the paperwork. She did not complain, but could not help but wonder if the orphanage was legitimate.

Finally, she met little Sabine in the hall. The girl carried a small, filthy bag. Her snaky hair was tied away from her wan face. She did not seem happy about leaving the orphanage, and simply bore a look of indifference that people often acquire after much disappointment.

"Don't worry, mon petite," Madeline reassured in a soothing voice, "You're finally coming home for good."

Sabine said nothing.

Madeline helped her new 'daughter' into a cab. She took her first to buy some new clothes and then she let her pick out whatever she wanted in the realms of toys and books. Sabine modestly accepted the favors without much passion.

_Poor dear must not believe I really mean to keep her._ Madeline thought sadly.

After their shopping excursion, they returned home where the cook, Madeline had managed to hire some aid after Erik's disappearance, had prepared supper. Sabine was washed and dressed in a pretty, white gown. Her long hair was brushed and pulled into two plaits. She looked somewhat better, though still terribly ghostly.

_All she needs is some warm sunshine and good food_. Madeline assured herself.

The meal was a lovely one. The cook served stuffed partridge, turtle soup, boiled quail eggs, and a creamy chocolate. Sabine ate hesitently, as if she was frightened of trying the fine dishes. Madeline attempted to start a conversation.

"Well, Sabine, what do you like to do?" she asked casually.

"Draw," Sabine replied, "and read."

"Ah, then we'll have to get you some drawing supplies, won't we," Madeline said, smiling, "You know, I have a library filled with nice books that you might like."

"Oh," Sabine answered.

There was an awkward pause, but Madeline was undaunted, "Do you like flowers, Sabine? I have lots of flowers in the garden. Once spring gets further along there will be many more than there are now! We'll have roses this summer, too!"

"The Guillaumes had a garden," Sabine said dully.

"Did they? And who are the Guillaumes?"

"They brought me back," Sabine replied in an emotionless tone.

"Oh," Madeline searched for what to say, "Well, I won't do that, dear, if that is what you are worried about..."

"But I'm not worried," Sabine stated.

"Good," Madeline said, smiling, "You see, I wanted a daughter, and from now on you are my child and I am your mother. Mothers do not return their children!" Madeline's heart ached as she said this, thinking of how she had treated her real son.

"Do you have any other children?" Sabine asked.

"No, I did have a son but..."

"Good," Sabine interrupted, "I don't get along well with other children."

Madeline shifted uncomfortably on her seat. She did not like someone, even one who was supposed to be her daughter, speaking in such a way about Erik. She calmed herself, though, reminding herself that Sabine had had a hard and sorrowful life and probably had never been taught manners.

"How did your son die?" Sabine questioned.

Madeline was not sure that she had told the girl that Erik was dead, but she had felt so muddled that she brushed the doubt aside. "He ran away from home," she said, "and no one could find him. The police say he probably died from... from cold or... starvation or something..." Madeline's voice shook.

"Probably?" Sabine asked.

"Yes dear," Madeline replied.

Sabine said nothing.

"Well, let's finish eating before the food is all cold," Madeline said, changing the subject, "Then we best be off to an early bed after all the shopping we did."

"Yes... mommy," Sabine replied, "You want me to call you mommy?"

"Of course, darling," Madeline assured. She smiled and embraced the little girl warmly. It felt good to be called a mother again and she was happy that the girl wanted to call her that.

Madeline took Sabine to the room she had prepared for her. The room had been decked out with bouquets of early, spring flowers. A little canopy bed sat towards the middle of the room and was covered by rosy pink bedclothes. Lacy curtains hung from the large window that overlooked the garden. A window seat sat below that and on the seat was laid a few lovely pillows. A rosewood wardrobe stood to the antipode of the bed and to its left there was a dainty vanity already well stocked with various pretty jewelry pieces. There was a quaint fireplace and hearth and several lamps for light and heating. Madeline was rather pleased with the outcome of the room.

She and Sabine unpacked the many presents they had purchased. The lovely dolls and stuffed animals were sat on the window seat. The dresses, petticoats, jackets, cloaks, skirts, and gowns were hung in the wardrobe. The hoops, laces, stockings, and undergarments were slipped into special little drawers inside the wardrobe itself. The hats, scarves, gloves, and fans were hung on a rack at the vanity and the boots were sat at the end of the bed in nice, neat rows. A lovely music box, painted with roses and ivy, was sat at the vanity. The books, games and puzzles they had bought were sat on a shelf next to the bed.

"There," Madeline sighed happily, "we're all done. Doesn't this look lovely?"

Sabine nodded and gave her new 'mother' a haunting smile. "I love you, mommy," she said.

Madeline beamed. Not since Erik had ran away had she heard those words. Why Erik had loved her was beyond her comprehension, but she was joyous at hearing the words again. She bade Sabine good night and stirred her coals. Then she slipped from the room so that the girl could change into her new, lacy nightgown. Only when she was already nearly asleep herself did she remember that they had not unpacked Sabine's trunk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The next few days were spent quite pleasantly. Sabine did not mention the trunk, and Madeline supposed that the girl had wanted to unpack it herself. They ignored the matter and spent their time getting to know one another. They read together, played together, talked together, and did all the things that Madeline wished she had done with Erik.

Sabine was becoming very dear to her adopted mother. She no longer seemed to be that ugly, little spider in the orphanage. She looked much healthier; she was gaining a smile, and already her stork-like body was slowly rounding into healthy curves. Her long, brown hair was always curled now, and she wore pretty clothes instead of the drab dress she had came in. She seemed more and more like a real daughter to Madeline; neither seemed to remember a life without the other.

Sabine was creating hobbies as well. She had attacked the library, reading as much as she could lay her hands on. She drew beautiful, almost frighteningly realistic pictures, also. She was beginning to learn to dance, embroider, and cook, and she even had found that she enjoyed singing. Madeline nurtured these gifts as well as she was able. If Erik's brilliant aptitude had been stifled, Sabine's would not be. She was given whatever she needed to advance in her pursuit of her interests.

The two were making plans for Sabine's education, also. She was to attend a girl's school the next year. It was a pleasant school, ran by the Celestine Order, and was near enough for Sabine to return home each day. What was more, Sabine was to take art lessons and join the church choir. She would hopefully meet some friends as well.

Everything was going wonderfully, until Sabine's fateful meeting with the locked room.

The locked room was where Madeline kept Erik's things. Although she and Sabine had been spending so much time together, she did continue her traditional lying out of Erik's meals and making his bed. The room was her private sanctuary to her son. It was the place where he had spent so much of his time when he was with her, and it still seemed to breathe of his presence. Madeline did not particularly want Sabine in this room. She worried the girl would be jealous, but more than that, she was worried that Erik would be jealous. It was safest to keep the door locked.

The locked door did not stop Sabine, however. One day, while Madeline and she were passing by it on their walk to the library, Sabine stopped. She looked hard at the dark, red wood. "Mommy, what is behind that door? It is always locked when I come by here," she asked innocently.

"That... that was Erik's room," Madeline replied, "He would have been your brother, you know." She gently stroked the paneling.

Sabine did not say anything, but, as they proceeded down the hall, she continually kept glancing backwards with a sour expression on her face.

That night, as Madeline tucked her into bed, Sabine asked again about the door. "Why is it locked, mommy?" she asked.

"I lock it because I don't want to go in too often," Madeline lied, "It makes me feel sad to do it more than necessary."

"You bring food in there," Sabine pointed out in an accusing tone.

"It helps me feel better," Madeline replied, "I liked to pretend sometimes that he's still here."

"But you have me now," Sabine said jealously.

"Yes, dear, and I love you," Madeline reassured, "That does not stop me from missing Erik, though."

"So, I'm not enough?" Sabine asked.

"Oh, no, dearest!" Madeline cried, "You are perfect! I love you! Don't you even think you are less than you truly are!"

"Yes mommy," Sabine agreed, but there was a chill in her voice.

"Good night, love," Madeline replied.

"Mommy?" Sabine called as Madeline turned to go, "I don't believe that you put his food out because you miss him." The little girl's voice was clear and accusing in the darkness, "I think you are waiting for him to come back."

"Perhaps, dear," Madeline admitted in a whisper.

Madeline worried in her bed. Sabine was jealous, even after all of her precautions. She could simply forget about Erik, he was dead, after all. But how could she forget the child of her womb? Even as she loved Sabine, she loved Erik and longed to have him with her again. She nestled deep within the blankets, troubled by that night's conversation.

In the deepest of midnight, Sabine also was awake. She was not in her bed, however. She had stolen into the watercloset and retrieved a hairpin, the perfect device for picking locks. She would keep her own watch over the forbidden room, and if Erik ever did arrive, he would not replace her. In fact, when she found him, he would never come back again. She smiled, only then would her mother be all hers, forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was Good Friday. Sabine and Madeline had gone to the six in the morning mass and had made a small fast of two meals. Sabine was dressed in a black, frilly petticoat and bonnet. Her hair had been pulled into beautiful, thick curls and a small, plain heart adorned a chain about her neck. She moved about the big house like a Carmelite, head bowed, hands folded. It appeared that she was deep in meditation of the mysteries.

Madeline sat in the parlor, telling her beads. She prayed a bead for each intention that she felt needed to be touched upon: for Sabine, for Erik, for the souls of her parents, for the poor, the sick, the other little children in the orphanages. Just as she was nearing the end of the second mystery, a knock sounded at the door.

Madeline walked coolly across the hall and answered it. On the front stoop stood an old man.

The man had a great, gray beard, the color of soot. His eyes were half-hidden in shaggy eyebrows and a mass of wrinkles. He was dressed in a long, red robe and looked like a great and terrible wizard.

"Good day," Madeline said hesitantly.

"Good day, Madame," the man answered in a deep, soft voice, "I was wondering, are you the woman who posted this advertisement?" The man handed Madeline a shabby, weatherworn parchment. Much to her surprise, it was one of the very first notices that she had posted after Erik's disappearance. A drawing of him that she had done was on the front, as well as several other pieces of information.

"Why, yes! I..."

"You, see, Madame," the man went on, "I have notification of his whereabouts, as it were."

"Where is he?" Madeline cried excitedly.

"My friend saw him just last night on the moors," the man replied, "Said he ran off, but not after he got a good look at him. Matches the picture right well!"

"Erik..." Madeline breathed, "But where are the moors. I have not hear of any around here."

"Ah," the man said, tapping his nose, "That's where the mystery lies."

"But, you must tell..."

The man did not let her finish. He simply turned off down an alleyway, his robe blowing in the wind.

"I don't like that man," Sabine said, suddenly approaching Madeline from behind.

Madeline turned to face her daughter, "Why not, Sabine, dear?"

Sabine turned up her nose, "I just... don't. Mommy, do you think Erik will ever come back?"

Madeline smiled at Sabine's concern. She placed an arm around the girl's shoulder, "I hope so," she said.

Sabine let her adopted mother lead her back into the main wing of the house. Her face was dark and a smirk flickered across her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Sabine sat next to the door to Erik's room. She was listening. Night after night she listened there, wondering if there would be any sounds. She did not sleep; she did not need sleep. She had to know if Erik was coming back. She had doubled her watch after the revelations on Good Friday. She had watched all night of Holy Saturday and had not quit her post for Easter Sunday. All she had viewed, however, was the placement of a few Easter gifts and a plate of food in Erik's room. However, this night, the first Tuesday of Easter, her watches were rewarded.

It was nearly midnight when a few scuffling noises sounded from behind the door. The sounds grew louder; someone was climbing in the window. Sabine was experienced enough to recognize the sounds to be those of a youth, neither an adult nor a very young child. She stiffened, poised, ready to respond, but the sounds retreated. Erik was not going to come that night, but he would come again -and she would be ready.

Madeline opened Erik's door to place another plate of food on the tiny table. That was when she noticed the window. For the first time since Erik had left, the window was closed, bolted shut, and on the frosty glass there was a single, grimy handprint.

Madeline cried out. She flung the window open and glanced down at the muddied ground. Sure enough, the soft turf was marred by a series of freshly made prints, all the correct size to be her son's.

She was in a panic. How had the window been closed? Would Erik ever come back again? Had she somehow missed her last chance at ever seeing her beloved son again?

Madeline rushed from her house. She followed the muddy footsteps as far as she could, then she asked everyone she saw if they had seen her son. Accustom to such questions by the desperate mother, those she asked simply brushed her aside, shaking their heads pityingly. Soon, the hopelessness of the quest was obvious, and Madeline returned to her home, praying that her son would come once more.

That night, Madeline nailed the window open and left a candle burning. Erik would not be shut out another night. She would finally see her son again. All she had to do was wait and listen for him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

That night, the blessed sounds of a scraping climb made there way to Madeline's waiting ears. He had come! With ecstasy, Madeline pulled on her housecoat and ran to the door. The sound of someone stepping into the room reached her. She pulled her hand into her pocket for her the keys, but they were gone.

Madeline was stunned. She reached for the doorknob and pulled. It was locked tight. She raised her hand to pound on the door and to call out to her child, but she was stopped. An icy voice penetrated the night, "Who are you?" It was Sabine.

"I... who are you?" was the hesitant reply. How much older her son sounded!

"I live here," Sabine said coolly, "Who are you?"

"I... I used to live here," Erik answered, "In fact, this was my room..."

"Well, it's mine now," Sabine replied, "At least, it's one of mine. See all these presents? They're mine too."

Madeline gritted her teeth. What was Sabine doing? She had assumed that the girl was somewhat jealous, but was she really trying to send Erik away? Madeline was too frozen to move.

"I'm sorry," Erik stumbled, "I mean, I'm sorry I intruded, just, my mother still lives here. She... I saw her! I just hoped..."

"She's _my_ mommy now," Sabine stated, "And I love her. She loves me, also. She was so happy you left. She went and got me instead because she loves me better than you. She said she never wanted to see your face again!"

"She said that?" Erik asked, his poor, beautiful voice was choked with a stifled sob.

"Yes," Sabine lied smoothly, "she'd be very angry to see you again. You best go away."

"But, but can't... I stay here?" Erik begged, he was obviously crying, "It... it's so... bad out... there. Please, I'll just... just stay in the attic. I... I won't ever come out!"

"I'm very sorry, but I'm sure the answer would be no," Sabine sighed, "She even said that she'd summon the police if you came back. She said she didn't want her daughter mingling with your types."

Madeline had had enough. She could not bear to have Sabine hurting her child like that. She shouted, banging against the door, "Erik!"

"Oh, she's heard you now!" Sabine cried, "You must go away!"

"But I want to see her!" Erik pleaded.

"Erik, don't go!" Madeline called desperately, "Sabine! Sabine, you open this door right now or so help me..." Madeline stopped calling out. She could scarcely make a sound. Even her knocking seemed to be muffled. What had happened? She glanced about for something to pick the lock. At last she came upon a long nail. As she worked she peered in through the crack in the door.

Erik was standing on the sill, about to climb back down. She frantically hurried her work.

"Get out!" Sabine cried.

Erik hesitated, "Could I see her just a moment? I have something for her."

"She wouldn't want it," Sabine replied icily. Her long, dark hair hung over her like a vale, and something sinister seemed to come from her very being. She advanced towards Erik.

"I don't care," Erik said stubbornly, "I want to give it to her!"

"No, get out of the room," Sabine said, her voice cold and even. She walked right up to Erik and reached out her hands. Madeline could no longer see them and she worked as fast as she could. She heard Erik suddenly cry out:

"What are you?"

Then she heard a scrambling noise and the sound of a fall. She burst the door open.

"Sabine!" she cried; the room was empty.

"Yes mommy?" Sabine asked innocently.

"What did you do?" Madeline said in grated syllables. Her eyes blazed with anger and she took the girl by the hair, "What did you do? Where is he? Where is my son?"

"Ow, mommy, you're hurting me!" Sabine cried pitifully, "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Madeline flung the girl away from her, panting and hissing for breath, "I want my son!" she exclaimed.

"You don't need a son," Sabine replied hypnotically.

"What?"

Sabine walked towards her mother, arms outstretched, hair tumbling over her pale, pale face. Darkness filled the room.

Madeline sat in the parlor, gently, methodically brushing Sabine's hair. Her eyes were glazed over and she looked dully at her daughter as if in a trance. "There, don't you look pretty?" Madeline asked in a drone

"I love you, mommy," Sabine replied, smiling.

**El Fin**

Ok, how was that one, better or worse than _My Angel, My Love_? I based Sabine off of Samara from _The Ring_ (heh). Please don't flame, I wrote this on my birthday. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'll PM you w/ some lovely reply. Have a nice, cow-free day. Smiles. PS: If you liked it, PM me, I love messages! 


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